Pressures n Tensions

As most of u all know...i juz completed one of my objectives of securing a place in Monash University in Sunway...however...this is oso one of the problems for me during these few weeks...

for this few weeks...i had been rushing assignments one after another...when completing most of them...i feel satisfied...however i am so so so frust of one of the assignments which i did not complete fully...the Managerial Economics assignment...

Due to the lack of attendance to dis subject's lectures and tutorials...i could not understand how to do the assignment...so i asked for help from the one and only fren dat i had known in this subject....at first he said that he wont do so early...n leave it till last min...so i trusted him as i had been reminding him time and again that i would need his help for the assignment...

However...when it is time to pass up the assignment...he ffk me during the vry last min...which leaves me in the dump...cant u juz tell me that u would not wanna help me and tell to get it done on my own rather than leaving me alone there with nothin??? it really pisses me off...i reli dunno how would i react the next time i see him...

I know that it is my fault that i did not attend classes...but i am so disappointed being played by a person whom i called a fren...


that is the first major unsatisfaction for the assignment......


The second one is regarding with my gf...

Due to the assignments...i really dun have the time to be wif her and accompany her...however please dun give me more pressure as i am already being pressured by assignments and is constantly on my feet rushing to meet the dateline of each assignments...

i am sorry for not being able to handle so many things at a time and is really stressed to the point where i could not sleep comfortably as i know that i would nid to wake up to another set of assignment which is due soon...the only time when i could relax is when i could be out wif my fren and played in cc for a while...

u know that if i wanted to accompany u i would need a whole full day juz to meet u and spend time wif u...i do not have the privilleage of that now...so if u know that why would u unleash that dissatisfaction on me?

I am no superman...i am no super human...i am juz an ordinary guy which is trying to cope and adapt to the new changes in my life...why cant u juz gimme a lil space to breathe...the pressure from studies is already more than enough for me...i couldnt cope with the extra pressure from our relationship...i wouldnt wanna give up but if i am pushed into a corner...i reli would have to make a choice...please dun let it be this way...

it happened once...and i did the choice for studies...that nite i spend a few mins in the toilet...tears ran down my cheeks but i cant do anything about the situation...i could not let my cousin know as i know it would disturb them...the only place to hide is a place where they cant see me...this pressure is more than enough and i am really battered up...

well...enough of complaining in this blog...time to continue completing the assignments that are due next week...hopefully the next post would be sumthing good...lolz

Deep in thought

Hi...ermm...actually dis is da first time i am doing thing blogging thing....needed a place where i can juz release wat my heart wanna say...been burdened by the unspeakable things that i know would make sum ppl unhappy if i say it out...

13th of sept 2008...
today is my dad's bday...reli wanted to be back in my hometown, Kuantan to accompany him today..
haha..i know most of my friends would be shocked as family had not been much or part of my life before...however...since leaving them for so long...around 4 years which i had been wasting in KL...i missed them...

hmm....let's try introducing my family....
Dad...is the man of the family...i am not vry close to him but i know he cares for me vry much...however...nowadays i feel comfortable around him because i know dat i can talk to him unlike last time where there is no topic dat i could chat up wif him...cant help but think back n am regretting for not really having been a good son to him...so now...i promised myself that i would try to study hard and not fail him as a son anymore...i wanna be the son that he is goin to be proud of in front of his frens....

Mom...hmm...this is kinda hard because i seriously am not close to her...however...i know that she had been strong emotionally as she burdens the pressure to bring all of my siblings and me up...mom...i promise u that i wont be the reckless one anymore...i know that i would have to bear the burden of a family in the near future...i have grown up and 1 more week till i am fully 21 yrs old...although as an adult at the age of 21...i would try to support our family emotionally and hopefully financially a few years time..

Younger bro...hey...u are the one who is closest to me and the one whom i hope would be successful in the future...u know why? because i failed my duty as the eldest son of the family to try and lessen the burden of dad by taking over his engineering company...yeah...i know i am too stupid dat time to waste all my time on dota and not on practical things like studying for my engineering degree...but guess wat...i would try to be one of the best managers after graduating...so i really hope u do ur part and do our family proud...stop being so hard-headed k?

Younger sis 1...dis is the sis that i am proudest of...made it to MSSM in tennis and badminton...juggling tuition times and practice times...and best of it...emerge as one of the best students in school...i am so proud of u...keep it up and let the future show it's beauty to u...

Younger sis 2...hahaha...how should i start introducing her...she is unconfident of things she do...revolves her life around school...but hardworking as a student...u should be confident k? no matter wat other ppl would say of ur decisions...stick up and have the guts to stay by ur decisions...dun let other ppl sway u from ur motive...

wow...after introducing them...i reli missed them lots...however...i am looking forward to the family trip dad had planned for u...hope to be around u all during the week's break...^^

Last and not forgotten...happy bday dad...hope that ur wishes come true and i will try my best to fulfill my duty as the eldest son of the family...